Things Mama taught me

MAMA TAUGHT ME......'LOGIC':
"If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me." 
MAMA TAUGHT ME......MEDICINE:
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 

MAMA TAUGHT ME......TO THINK AHEAD:

"If you don't pass your spelling test, you won't get a good job." 

MAMA TAUGHT ME ... ESP:
"Put your sweater on, Don't you think I know when you are cold?" 
MAMA CHALLENGED ME:
"What were you thinking? Answer when I talk to you. Don't talk back to me." 
MAMA TAUGHT ME ... HUMOR:
"When the lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 
MAMA TAUGHT ME ... HOW TO BE AN ADULT:
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 
MAMA TAUGHT ME ABOUT ... SEX:
"How do you think you got here?" 
MAMA TAUGHT ME ABOUT ... GENETICS:
"You are just like your father." 
MAMA TAUGHT ME ABOUT MY ... ROOTS:
"Do you think you were born in a barn?" 
MAMA TAUGHT ME ABOUT ... THE WISDOM OF AGE:
"When you get to be my age, you will understand." 
MAMA TAUGHT ME ABOUT ... ANTICIPATION:
"Just wait until your father gets home." 
MAMA TAUGHT ME ABOUT ... RECEIVING:
"You are going to get it when we get home." 
AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE THING ... JUSTICE:
"One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU.....then you'll see what it's like." 

Source: http://javacasa.com/humor/reallife.htm